Writing Through Hell


When I started this blog, I resolved to post at least once a week. But these past two weeks, I failed to keep up with my pre-set deadline.

The reason is obviously school. With only two weeks away from the official end of classes, it seems that everyone – both professors and students – are cramming to make up for the remaining lessons which, in my opinion, could use another month or so. With very much little time left, the quality of learning is again at stake. I am getting sick of this way of life (why can’t I just get used to this and go with the flow?).

Starting tomorrow, hell weeks will be ablaze (a hell week is a week’s schedule cramped with exams, reports, and submissions). When we say “hell”, we really mean HELL. This week is peppered with two lab exams, a case study report, two paper submissions, and a lecture exam. Don’t ask me what’s penned on my planner for the week after this.

Hell Week

Actually, I should not be scribbling in this blog right now. I should be studying the eighty-page chapter on arthropods for tomorrow’s exam. I have been trying to focus on studying since last night but I can’t. The little voice at the back of my head keeps telling me, “Write! You haven’t written for a while. And you have been neglecting your blog for two weeks already. Put down that book now and I start writing.” Sounds like a little devil? Well, no. That is my angel. So I did as it told me. I put down my book and logged in.

I understand the importance of studying. I will always be one person who would encourage students to study more and spend less on other activities. But to tell you honestly, I hate studying. I love learning but I hate sitting down at the library for hours, reading and noting again and again until I fall asleep. I hate memorizing. I hate boring lecture classes. I appreciate hands-on learning better where I can study at my own pace (that is,  without deadlines and exams). Sometimes, I get tired of the system. I think I seriously need a break but I can’t. I just can’t.

study break

A friend once told me that if you want decent grades, taking study breaks is a crime. In that case, I am a criminal. I am constantly taking breaks even on times when I really have no time for them. Like today. Like I said, I should not be writing this post. I should be studying the Phylum Arthropoda.

Study breaks have always been  reading and writing for me. These are really the only things I do – studying and reading and writing. I do not know why reading and writing have always had a calming effect on me. It seems that after taking a break, I always find myself more receptive to the information provided by my books and lecture notes.

The magic of reading and writing is still a mystery to me. How do reading and writing make me feel refreshed? But still, I am happy to have these options other than studying all day. I am particularly thankful to God for giving me this gift of being able to express what is within me.

So for the coming weeks, I will try to keep on writing to save me from hell. Wish me luck. 🙂

I apologize for the undeniably distracted, random post. I promise to make a more sensible post after this semester is through. 🙂

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Author: Aira Mallapre

Aira, a dreamer by day and crammer by night, has been singing out of tune since 1995.

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